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48 Hours Left!

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I’m a little concerned over the news that NASA has been reporting that a now defunct satellite should crash to earth sometime in the next 48 hours.  The news is reporting that this some 3,000 pound satellite, about the size of a small bus, is tumbling out of orbit and should make impact in the next two days.  They are telling us that they expect much of the satellite to burn up during re-entry to our atmosphere.  They can even tell us that they expect about 26 pieces, the largest of which could weigh upwards of 250 pounds.  They are telling us not to worry, even though they essentially have no idea where its going to land, that we have approximately a 1 in 3,000 chance of getting hit by debris.

This is making me quite uneasy for a few reasons.  First off, a 1 in 3,000 chance?  I think we only have a 1 in 10,000 chance of getting bit by a shark.  Our chances of getting hit by lightning, a car and avarious other ways to die are smaller than getting hit by this satellite?  Either the NASA engineers math skills have seriously declined since the end of the shuttle program, or they are expecting some potentially populated areas to get nailed!  I mean, by their numbers i have a 1,000 times greater chance of getting hit by flying debris than I do of hitting the Lotto tonight?  wow!  I hear FEMA is ready with a plan.  Oh good…FEMA to the rescue, we have nothing to worry about now.

Also, our Defense Department has software that is ‘tracking’ the satellite, and apprantly within 15 minutes of re-entry, they still can’t tell us where it’s going to land.  OMG!  Do we need to tell the Russians, Chinese, N. Koreans and Iranians that we can’t track something…oh say the size of a missile entering our airspace?  Holy Crap people!  Who the heck is running these….an incompetent 1 term senator with no real leadership or business experience?  Come on!

I’m not worried personally about getting injured from debris.  I’m just worried that apparantly we don’t have our act together enough to at least know when something as large as a bus is entering our airspace.  Call me crazy, but that’s a problem!


Written by jeffgrillomedia

September 21, 2011 at 8:07 pm

The New ‘Dancing’ Debut

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Hey, how about Han Solo’s daughter?  Wasn’t she great?  Little Hope Solo is all grown up now and goalie for the US Women’s Soccer Team, and did a rather nice Waltz on her Dancing with the Stars Debut.  Now, my eyes aren’t what they ought to be, but from what I hear she’s not bad in the face, and has a set of abs you can crack a walnut on.  Impressive.  Scary, but impressive.  I dunno, there’s something about a woman who can kick my butt that I find freakishly interesting.  My wife was into kickboxing when I met her, and made it plain early on I better stay in line.

Then, what the heck was up with Carson Cressley?  Mr., or is it Miss Queer Eye for the Straight guy?  I’m a real man, and never watched that freakshow, but I have heard about it.  Getting to witness all that is light in the loafers last night from the safety of my couch was actually somewhat amusing.  I don’t get it, but thee was some entertainment value I suppose.  Seriously though, what is it with gay guys acting so weird and flamboyant?  If they are men with some weird female gene thing shouldnt they be more like women?  In addition to the sexual deviant nature of the whole thing…shouldn’t they just be all about shopping and make up?  Where the heck does the glitter thing come into play?  In my circle of contacts, I don’t see women acting like that nut?!  Well, I guess I should thank Carson…afterall if it wasn’t for fruit loops like him, I probably would have gotten beat up a lot more in high school.  Thankfully we had some gay folk that occupied the time of the bullies!  lol

Chaz…dear Chaz.  What were you thinking?  Ok, I get it, you’re gay.  Born a woman, attracted to women, sure.  Maybe the whole sex change thing is a way you justify your attraction to women.  I almost get it.  But if you are going to go through the pain, shame, scrutiny and public gawkers to undergo this transformation…why not go through just a tinsy winsy bit more pain and work out a few times?  Ok class, here’s your bonus question:  What’s worse than being a trangender individual?  Right!  Being a FAT, transgender individual.  OMG!  Chaz, my man…(and I use the term loosely), let’s use this public embarassment as a vault to a new, leaner, meaner you.  From what my wife says, your lady friend in the audience was actually fairly normal looking.  I’m not saying you need to go all Hope Solo on the abs, but geesh!  Put down the cupcakes!

By the way…I hear that when Bruno Tolioli gave his score to Chaz…what we actually saw was edited in.  What really happened was his usual flip out and then he gave Chaz his number.  No, not the score….his actual number!

How many more weeks of this crap do I have to endure?

Written by jeffgrillomedia

September 20, 2011 at 6:38 pm

The Buffet Tax Confusion…Let Me Clarify!

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My first reaction when I read about the new proposed Buffet tax by Obama, was one of horror!  Oh the humanity, I cried!  I know the President keeps harping on the ‘fat cats’ in Washington, but, now he’s going after the ‘fat cats’ nationwide!  Shoot man, why not just call it what it is…the FAT TAX?  After droning on for a few minutes to my wife, she pointed out that it was not a tax on buffets, but the ‘Buffet Tax,’ as in , Warren Buffet the Billionaire.

Apparently, I had lost something in the translation.  But, wow!  What a relief to know that I can still belly up to the salad bar…oh who am I kidding?  I can still belly up to the all you can eat monster China, or as I like to call it, the Godzilla sized China Buffet!  I mean who can resist mountains of fried rice, chicken lo mein, and egg rolls…oh my!  What about the crab rangoon, sweet & sour chicken, those little mystery pork ball thingys, and Chinese BBQ wings?!  What the heck is it with Chinese buffets by the way…their desert bars are always the same.  Jello, pudding, some sugary fried dough crap and soft serve vanilla ice cream.  Seriously…why no authentic Chinese deserts?  Hmmm, on second thought maybe that’s why you don’t see fat Chinese people.  Hey Liu Kang would it kill you to put a brownie ou there.  Us fat Americans like those little chocolate squares cut straight from the fabric of heaven, ya know.

But I digress…

Ok, so I made an honest mistake.  Tell me there aren’t people in South Florida right now freakin’ out that their iTunes downloads of Margaritaville, and Fins are about to get taxed up the wazoo!

I’m just saying that the media should quit being so darned lazy.  All they hd to do is call it the WARREN BUFFET TAX, and that would have cleared up the confusion it caused dumb Americans, such as myself.  Well, not so much that we’re dumb…as much as…..squirrel!

As for the tax… what am I, an economist?  All I can say is stop taxing the people we want to invest in creating jobs.  Maybe if they have a little more, they will spread it around.  Maybe, maybe not.  I just hope someday i am one of the 230,000 Americans that make over $1 Million a year.  I’d like to try that once….or twice!

Written by jeffgrillomedia

September 19, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Hey Uncle Sam! Fund Me!

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Man, I’ve been listening to the fallout the Feds are going through over the Solindra scandal.  You probably have heard about this solar panel manufacturing company somewhere n California.  Funding was underway during the Bush administration, however, some 2 weeks before Bush left office, they were beginning to pull financing from them, because doubts were coming to light about the viability of this compnay.

Obama comes in and jumps on rushing approval through.  Suspect is the relationship between big Solindra financier, George Kaiser…who is also friends with Obama, and a mighty big contributor to his campaign.  Long story here, but suffice it to say half a Billion dollars of stimulus money given to this company…then they go belly up!

Geesh!  If this is the way the Obama administration is conducting stimulus, then I think I’m going to apply for some cash.  Jeff Grillo Media, could certainly use an infusion of cashola.  You know, I wouldn’t even have to collect hundreds of millions of dollars.  Shoot, I’ll take a modest 20 million buckeroos, and I’ll hire a boatload of workers and pay them a few years, whether we get any work or not.  I won’t even file bankruptcy…I promise!

What other businesses could I start?  Hmmm…  Maybe I could start a blogging company.  No worries wordpress!  What I’m talking about is getting me a nice fancy office.  Then, I’ll hire a staff consisting of secretaries, book keepers, a coffee girl, maybe even a full time massage therapist or two, and two or three people to scan the web, tv and radio for goofy stories for me to write about.  Hey, it’s no worse a waste of taxpayer dollars than anything else Obama has been tossing about.  Just my opinion, but don’t be surprised to see me on TV when I get my millions from y’all!  lol

Love ya, mean it, bye!

Written by jeffgrillomedia

September 16, 2011 at 8:14 pm

McDonalds’…Made in China

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FOX News, this morning, aired a very funny clip from Jay Leno.  It went something like this.  “McDonalds’ has just announced some 700 new restaurants that they are opening in China.  Wow, that’s great.  Now every kid in China can get a happy meal with a toy prize that they made.”  Again, something like that.  But, it brings up a few thoughts…

First…Will families in China, who have ‘a’ child be able to afford a ‘happy meal’?

Secondly…Do they raise cattle in China?  Are all these beef patties and formed chicken product nuggets going to be exported TO China?  Hmm…if so, that’s quite a change.

Thirdly…Will a Big Mac combo with a Coke, also come with a fortune cookie?

You know…I didn’t much care for Donald Trump as a potential Presidential candidate.  But back when he was entertaining the idea of running, he did make alot of great points…especially regarding the trade imbalance with China.  One point he made was that we are not playing on a level playing field.  China manipulates it’s currency making it easy for China to export to the US, but very difficult for the US to compete and in turn, export US goods to China.  Hey McDonalds’!  Let’s get those commie pinko Chinese!  How about you use those 700 stores to even the playing field, and bring back some of those Chinese dollars…or whatever their currency is called…back over here!  Here’s a 2 for 1 special.  How about you double the price of everything you sell them.  Thereby, each 1 item is now the price of two!  Then start funneling that cash back here to the US.  Lo and behold, an influx of Chinese money to the US that is NOT in the form of a loan!  Ta da!  Foreign policy made simple.  Then, how about we get some American…or better yet, ‘undocumented’ workers….oh let’s call them what they are…illegal aliens here in the US….deport them to McDonalds slave labor camps in China.  We’ll make them don the polyester uniforms and sling  burgers to the commies, and we’ll only pay them what they would have gotten here in the US as, well, whatever they were making.  Less than minimum wage.  This solves another US policy problem.  We get rid of the crime, financial burden, and draw of US healthcare dollars and save that money here.  They get shipped off to China where they make money for the US.  Nice change?  But Jeff!  What about these poor ‘undocumented workers’ and their families.  Simple…  It goes back to the point I make over and over again.  If your first act on US soil is to break the law getting here.  Then you continue to break the law by getting forged documents, tax evasion etc…then you are by definition a criminal.  Oh, and you’re not a citizen, so therefore you ahve no frights!  If you want rights…come here legally.    Just a thought.

Not the most Christian thing Jeff.  Again…I know it sounds bad, but look at the positives.

What are these ‘immigrants’ looking for?  Work!?  They’ll get it.  And they will get paid, and treated nicely.  McDonalds’ folks are nice.  How can a clown be bad to work for, I ask you?  They get jobs.  We get a reduction in expenditures associated with dealing with illegals.  We even the trade imbalance.  More americans get jobs, due to them now being more readily available.  And Chinese kids get to be fat along with American kids.  It’s the circle of life people!

Does this make me a racist?

Man, I hope not.  I really do love all people.  I’m just trying to think outside the box and come up with answers to lots of different problems, all wrapped up into one solution.  If anything, this doesn’t make me a racist…but rather, just plain goofy.

What can I say?  I tried!

Maybe I should leave the comedy to the professionals.

Hey…to all my earthly brethren of every race, creed, and gender.  If you want real solutions to the challenges you face… visit   No comedy there, just serious help for the struggles you face.  Register for your free newsletter and audio download.

Be on the look out…My 2006 book, “Power In Perseverance,” is coming soon to eBook!  Also, my second book is soon to be published via eBook exclusively.  Stay tuned….

Written by jeffgrillomedia

September 14, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Hey Mr. President…Let Me Help You Out!

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Like Forrest Gump stated…”I may not be a smart man…”  I’m certainly not an economist, but even though there is no way on God’s green earth that Obama will ever get my vote, I do want to help him out…for the sake of the Republic.

He is just moments away from laying out his plan to spend another $447Billion, dollars taht belong to US Taxpayers.  He’ll do this to ‘stimulate’ the economy.  Even though, when he spent double this amount last time, it had little to no effect.  What effect it did have, evaporated within a few months.  We can’t afford this!  So here’s an immensely simple, two step plan that will save the economy.  Ready?  Here it goes…

Step 1.  CUT REGULATION!  Everyone knows the engine of the economy is small business.  According to government stats, Obama has enacted an average of 10 new regulations on business per day!  Do the math.  that’s thousands of new rules that cripple business.  The hands of small business owners are tied.  It has been made too darn expensive to do business in America.  Hence that giant sucking sound of jobs flowing outward!  Cut, oh I don’t know, maybe just half of the regulations you started and watch the engine get moving again.

Step 2.  GIVE THE MONEY BACK!  Not only am I not an economist, I’m not a mathematician.  But according to my quick calculations there are some 300 Million citizens in this country.  Instead of whizzin’ away $445 Billion on stupid programs that won’t rwork.  And seeing as though this is a primarily consumer driven, service economy, give that money back to the individuals in this country in the form of a rebate check NOW!  According to my calculations, this will be in the ball park of $1,500 per person.  A family of 4 will receive $6,000!

Here’s the near immediate effect of this bill passing into law.

First, business regain some confidence and begin to hire new employees.  People begin to collect less unemployment, relieving the burden on States, and unemployment insurance.  These new earned dollars flow into the economy.  Fewer homes go into foreclosure.  Fewer credit cards, and bank loans go into default.  The banking sector is strengthened.  Goods and services begin to get sold again.  This further fuels business and the economy and encourages more business growth.  See the cycle forming here?  The influx of cash via the rebate now strengthens families as well as individuals.  This influx of cash further slows mortgage defaulsts.  Further relieves default rates on bank loans, lines of credit, and credit cards.  This further stimulates bank liquidity and shores up the banking sector.  With this new found strength, and decline in foreclosures, banks will be more willing to make new loans for homes and businesses.  Further cranking up the economic engines.  Goods and services are moving in a way that have not since prior to 29008.  Unemployment rate drops.  Home values rise.

Hey wait!  On second thought, this will no doubt work.  Which means people will fall in love with Obama all over again… 4 more years?!  Oh no!  Yeah…this is probably a bad idea.  Scratch this blog…

But, be sure to check out my free newsletter and get my free audio download.  It’s a presentation called ‘Throttle Up!” 7 Keys to overcome every life challenge.  You can find it at,

Can You Say, “Oops!”

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As you may have heard on the news, the power went out for about 3 million people in the Los Angeles and surrounding areas.  Traffic was a chaotic mess due to the fact that the traffic lights were out.  People were trapped in elevators, (escalator riders were presumably safe).  Air conditioning went out resulting in a multitude of sweaty, grumpy Southern Californians.  Plus, one would imagine the horror of those relying on medical machines to keep them alive at home.  What happened?  A terrorist attack?  Earthquake?  Lightning strike?  Car crash into a telephone pole?  What?!  Nope, none of the above.  An electrical worker doing some sort of project in a sub-station apparently, snipped the wrong cable.  Oopsie!

Can you possibly imagine the sick feeling in the pit of that man’s stomach when he realized his error?  How would you like to be at his next company review?  Imagine the conversation when he got home to his wife and peanutbutter and jelly by candlelight.  “how was your day hone?”  Sounds like Homer Simpson is an actual power company employee.  I only hope Mr. Burns threw him to the hounds!

Here’s what I don’t get.  It was reported that 2 California nuclear power plants were taken offline due to the lack of electricity.  What?!?!?  I know I’m no electrical engineer, nor nuclear scientist, but, huh?  Isn’t it the nuclear power plant that is creating the power in the first place?  Do you mean to tell me, they can’t just stretch an extension cord from some power strip into the reactor?  Holy cow that’s weird.  That’s kind of like… uh, well, it’s sort of like….  well, it’s just weird that’s all!  Springfield, you’ve met your match.

I think I’m going to apply for licensing to start my own nuclear power plant somewhere.  Then, I think I will fail to pay my electric bill.  What are they gonna do, cut me off?  Then millions will lose their power!?  I think I have just devised the greatest get rich quick scheme ever!  All of you who are with me, send me your piggy banks and we’ll go in this together.  No?  Any takers?  I’ve got a feeling I’ll have to go this one alone…

As an aside…I want to let you know I’m pretty excited about this weeks issue of my newsletter.  I wrote an article personally for this issue where I discuss “The MIA Principle.”  It’s a great success strategy and a proven one at that.  Sign up for it…it’s FREE, and you’ll also get my FREE audio presentation, “7Keys to Overcome Every Life Challenge”.    My site is

God Bless all the families who are mourning the loss of loved ones this 9/11.  May God have mercy on us all.