Elvis Update: Yep, Still Dead

On this day, August 16, 1977, Elvis Presley officially ‘left the building’ for good.  It is amazing to me that he died 34 years ago today.  Not that I am keeping track or anything, personally, no sweat off my brow.  I just heard the news segment whilest sipping my morning cup of crack, more commonly referred to as coffee.  I almost blew some of this hot concoction out my nose when I heard that his estate made over $60 Million dollars last year.  That’s a hunk-a-hunk of burning cashola.

As far as anyone making more annual income 34 years after they’re dead, than I most likely will make in my entire life is somewhat disturbing.  Now, I’m sure there are many lessons to be learned here, but, I’m not sure how many of them I can actually apply to my own life.  The moral of the story is that royalty income is the way to go.  I did write that one book in 2006 that didn’t quite make me rich.  It is a bit of motivation to get cracking on finishing up book #2.  Still, I’m not sure the possibility is there to rise to the level of the Elvis maching, but, a guy’s gotta try.

With respect to the Elvis-freak nutjobs out there, I have a few things to say.  I get the whole ‘thing.’  I know he was ahead of his time.  I understand the women thought he was ‘dreamy.’  The old story of the women wanted to ‘with’ him, and the men wanted to ‘be’ him.  But for the love of Pete (whoever that is), come on already.  The guy has been dead for longer than Katy Perry has been alive.  He died with his pants around his ankles.  Kind of appropriate that the ‘king’ died on his throne though!  ha ha!  You would be hard pressed to manage to die in a more embarassing state, but, then again, how was that dude Rober Caradene and Michael Hutchins of INXS found?  Ok, there are worse ways, but I just hope he wiped first.  That’s all i’m saying.  And was there ever an interview with the EMT first on the scene?  I believe I would pay money to hear that interview.

I think that folks that flock to Graceland, don the Elvis garb and sport those lamb chop sideburns need to really find a new hobby.  I wonder what the demographics are with respect to these people and income, religion and social status.  I can’t imagine you’d ever see Donald Trump sneaking into one of these events with cheesy sunglasses, white suit, bell bottoms and scarfs-a-plenty.  People make fun of folks like me for being what they call, ‘Jesus freaks.’  I’m ok with that though.  If I’m gonna be labeled a freak, might as well be over the Son of God, a man who was also God, who changed the world forever, who is the only way to enter heaven, etc.  What good is being an ‘Elvis freak?’  Plus you don’t see too many people dressing in robes and wearing thong sandals with clip-on beards walking around singing Hebrew praise tunes… do you?

Anyway, Elvis, gotta admit, on the rare occasion I actually hear one of your old tunes, I do tap a toe every now and then.  I’m glad you grew up in a Pentacostal church, and even made a few Gospel albums.  I just hope for your sake, in the midst of your drug induced haze that you called out to the God of your youth before you hit the floor.  I think you’d make a heck of a worship leader in heaven.  Hope to see you there.

Thank you very much.