48 Hours Left!

I’m a little concerned over the news that NASA has been reporting that a now defunct satellite should crash to earth sometime in the next 48 hours.  The news is reporting that this some 3,000 pound satellite, about the size of a small bus, is tumbling out of orbit and should make impact in the next two days.  They are telling us that they expect much of the satellite to burn up during re-entry to our atmosphere.  They can even tell us that they expect about 26 pieces, the largest of which could weigh upwards of 250 pounds.  They are telling us not to worry, even though they essentially have no idea where its going to land, that we have approximately a 1 in 3,000 chance of getting hit by debris.

This is making me quite uneasy for a few reasons.  First off, a 1 in 3,000 chance?  I think we only have a 1 in 10,000 chance of getting bit by a shark.  Our chances of getting hit by lightning, a car and avarious other ways to die are smaller than getting hit by this satellite?  Either the NASA engineers math skills have seriously declined since the end of the shuttle program, or they are expecting some potentially populated areas to get nailed!  I mean, by their numbers i have a 1,000 times greater chance of getting hit by flying debris than I do of hitting the Lotto tonight?  wow!  I hear FEMA is ready with a plan.  Oh good…FEMA to the rescue, we have nothing to worry about now.

Also, our Defense Department has software that is ‘tracking’ the satellite, and apprantly within 15 minutes of re-entry, they still can’t tell us where it’s going to land.  OMG!  Do we need to tell the Russians, Chinese, N. Koreans and Iranians that we can’t track something…oh say the size of a missile entering our airspace?  Holy Crap people!  Who the heck is running these….an incompetent 1 term senator with no real leadership or business experience?  Come on!

I’m not worried personally about getting injured from debris.  I’m just worried that apparantly we don’t have our act together enough to at least know when something as large as a bus is entering our airspace.  Call me crazy, but that’s a problem!

Chaz Bono

Well, as I’m sure you’ve heard, we are 2 weeks away from the season premiere of Dancing with the Stars.  Lo and behold ladies and gentlemen ABC is trotting out the bearded lady!  Fresh of it’s carnival sideshow act, and fresh to the DWTS stage.

Chaz…ma’am, sir… you’ve gotta know you are about to be exploited as a freak show attraction.  Why are you doing this to yourself?  First off, it’s Dancint with the STARS!  How in the world do you qualify as a ‘star’???  I suppose you’ve made your rounds on the talk shows because of who your mommy and daddy are/were.  And the bizarre ‘wonder twins’ transformation you are putting yourself through ahs caught the gawking stares of more than a few folks.  Shoot, what am I saying, they had ‘the situation’ on last year.  Hey ABC!  Rename your program to Dancing with the talentless nutjobs.  That’s a little more truth in advertising.  Sorry Cloris Leachman!  I did love you in High Anxiety!  Nurse Diesel…gotta love it.

The true draw for me is to see the answer to the question of who gets stuck with Chaz?  I mean, I she gonna get to dance with someone like Max?  Or will ‘he’ be dancing with that Russian girlie, what’s her name?  Man, either way, you gotta figure whoever draws the short straw is gonna be pretty ticked!  Does he have his new…ummm….how do I say this……plumbing?  I don’t know much about these sort of things, Thank God!  but, if the external plumbing hasn’t been hooked up, won’t that give an unfair flexibility advantage?

For all of it’s freaky goodness, Chaz babe….buddy, I’m pullin’ for ya.  I hope you make it pretty far.  Let’s face it, without you…this year’s show will prove to be a flop.  You are the only ‘person’ of any real interest.  Apparantly the good folks over at ABC didn’t see my earlier blog that pointed out my dream cast.  Oh well, there’s always next year.

Oh wait…let’s speculate some of the songs Chaz might dance to.  Here’s my top 3, please give me your top 3 choices and i’ll post them.

1.  Karma Chameleon

2.  What’s that Stone Temple Pilots song…”Half the Man I Used to be”?  lol

3.  (3) by Britney Spears….let’s face it, if she/he has an intimate encounter with anyone, isn’t that automatically a threesome?

Ok, it’s obvious I need your help with this.  leave a comment with your personal favorites.  You’ve gotta be able to do better than this!